Setting boundaries isn’t selfish—it’s one of the best ways we can take responsibility for our own well-being. If you’ve ever felt resentment in certain situations, that might be a clue that you need better boundaries. It’s worth taking time to reflect on what’s okay and not okay in your interactions with others. I’ve learned that getting clear on this—whether by journaling or discussing with a coach—can make setting boundaries feel more manageable. One tip is to write it down: What’s the situation, what’s okay, what’s not okay, and what’s the consequence if that line gets crossed? Clarity really is key.
Another big takeaway for me is that boundaries without consequences aren’t boundaries at all. Following through on consequences can be tough, especially if you’re afraid of hurting someone’s feelings or fear rejection. But I’ve realized it’s not about controlling others—it’s about deciding what I will or won’t participate in. For example, if someone crosses a line, my consequence might be as simple as stepping away from the conversation or leaving the room. This isn’t about anger or punishment; it’s about protecting my own peace. One small step at a time makes a huge difference, and starting with smaller boundaries can help build confidence.
Finally, I’ve come to understand that boundary work also involves sitting with discomfort. It’s not always easy, especially when someone reacts negatively. But this discomfort is temporary, and the benefits of standing up for your emotional and mental health far outweigh it. When I remind myself that my needs matter and practice self-compassion, I feel more grounded and resilient. The surprising part? Over time, setting boundaries not only reduces anxiety but also attracts healthier relationships into your life. It’s a journey, but it’s worth it.
Watch the episode on The Aware Mind Podcast, found on any podcast app.
Comments